CRUEL SECRETS Page 20

“So, Kelly, me sister tells me that you had it rough when I got sent down.” He tried to make it sound like it wasn’t his fault he wasn’t around for her. He cocked his head, in a sympathetic gesture.

  She thought carefully about her answer; should she pile it on, and let him know how hard it really was, and make him feel guilty? Then, she considered his attitude and decided he probably wouldn’t care anyway.

  “Yeah, she was a bit strict but I’m still here, ain’t I?” she glared defiantly.

  Sensing some of the euphoria, which had been building up prior to meeting his baby girl for the past twelve years, was not being returned, Eddie just nodded his head. Looking from one to the other, Kelly was determined he wasn’t getting off lightly for abandoning her.

  Leaning across, he grabbed her hand. “I would have had you taken away from her, Kelly, if I had known what a cunt she was—”

  Before he could continue, Kelly interrupted him with her sharp tongue. “I never said she was a cunt. I said she was strict.”

  He let go of her hand and tapped his hands on the table. An uncomfortable silence descended over them. Toni knew that look of menace in her brother’s eyes.

  “Kelly, I’m sorry I weren’t there for ya, but as you know, I got nicked, spent twelve years inside. I couldn’t do much, now could I?” His tone was firmer.

  “Nah, Eddie, s’pose not.” replied Kelly, extending the animosity by staring coldly at him.

  The antagonistic reply made Toni’s eyes open wide with horror; no one had ever dared speak to her brother like that. She waited for the backlash but was surprised to find him laughing.

  “Oh, Kel, you are a fucking chip off the old block. You’ve got spunk and I like it.”

  A screech, coming from the corner of the visiting room, distracted everyone. Ruth was being scarfed up by her ponytail by a man twice her size. Kelly felt her heart beating fast again and the anger rising. Poor Ruth was a tiny, quiet, and inoffensive woman. Three little children, with red hair like their mother’s, stood holding each other’s hands, their eyes fixed to the floor and trembling with fright. It was apparent he was her husband or other half. The look on the woman’s face was pitiful, as this giant, with shovel hands and a threatening look on his face, stuck his nose in her ear, growling obscenities and gripping her hair tightly. Then the tension in the room lifted, as he let her go, and her head tilted down. Kelly wanted to jump from her seat and rescue Ruth. Eddie was looking for an expression on his daughter’s face and saw there wasn’t one: she was not a soppy teenager he could easily manipulate but an independent woman. She didn’t give a shit about him or what he stood for. He would have to suck her in, get her onside, and soon.

  Toni changed the subject. “Nice clobber ya got for Kelly.” Eddie frowned, confirming what Kelly had thought all along. She smiled, feeling relieved she owed him nothing.

  “Oh, I thought …” said Toni.

  Eddie was quick. “I wanted to meet our Kelly first and find out what she likes. It’s no good buying shit. So, Kel, what do you need? You can have whatever ya want.”

  Flash bastard, she thought again. What I need is for you to fuck off and leave me alone, but she didn’t say it aloud, of course. Instead, she said nothing and just shook her head.

  Eddie was finding the visit hard work. Normally, people would fall over themselves to get in his good books. This was the other way around. He didn’t like it; never before in his life had he felt so unsure of himself.

  “Look, Kel, I know it must have been hard for ya, growing up with fuck all, so I am just saying it’s gonna be easier now, know what I mean?”

  In her own world now, Kelly had a plan to find out if Eddie was there when her mother was murdered.

  “Who said I had fuck all?”

  Ill at ease, Eddie shot a sharp glance at Toni. “Err, Tone said ya mother … um, I mean, she was cruel to ya.” He was fumbling over his words.

  Toni froze; she had never said that Kelly was denied material things. Her eyes met Eddie’s, astonished by his clumsy responses to anything Kelly was saying.

  “I never said I had nothing. Where Toni got that from, I don’t know. All I said, and I’ve said it three times now, was she was strict!”

  Kelly knew then that the only way Eddie could have known about her was if he had been to the hellhole house. He would have seen the sparse rooms devoid of comforts.

  “Sorry, babe, I just assumed.”

  A sly smile adorned her face, as if to say, ‘You don’t fool me’.

  Casting a sideways glance towards the tuck shop, he noticed the queue had gone down. “I am going to get some tea. Fancy some chocolate, Kel, crisps, sweets?”

  Kelly thought it best to soften; keeping him onside was important, as well as establishing the truth, one way or another. “Yeah, I’ll have whatever, please.”

  With a wry smile, Kelly nodded and watched, as he walked away to join the queue. Then she looked at Toni who sat there with a cob on.

  “Kelly, you should respect that man. He is ya father and what’s all this business calling him Eddie?”

  “Respect is earned. Just ’cos he shagged me muvver and I was the end result don’t mean I have to respect him. Tell me, Tone, what has he done to earn my respect, eh?”

  “Just don’t push it. Ya really don’t wanna get on the wrong side of him,” snarled Toni.

  Endeavouring to act unconcerned, Kelly tutted and rolled her eyes.

  Eddie returned with a tray of chocolate bars, crisps, and three teas. “There ya go,” he winked at Kelly.

  “I got ya white chocolate. You used to love it when you was a toddler. A bar of that and then you would crawl onto my lap and sleep. Purred like a kitten, ya did.”

  Kelly was listening, trying to recollect it.

  “You used to have this bunny. Ya never let it out of ya sight. I used to prise it off ya, to get it washed. D’ya remember?” His face held a false grin.

  “Yeah, I remember the bunny. I carried it everywhere.” Kelly smiled sweetly, this time thinking of her comfort toy. She had kept it hidden from her mother, or it would have been binned, along with all her toys. The bunny was special; she had held on to it, as if it were her lifeline.

  “I had one as a kid, an old teddy, still got it. Funny, there are just some things ya can never throw away,” he craftily mentioned, hoping she would continue with a planned trip down memory lane.

  Kelly laughed then. “I know what you mean. I have a favourite pair of socks. I sometimes still wear ‘em, holes an’ all.”

  As he looked at the clock, he realised he only had five minutes left. “I tell ya what, Kel. I’ll fetch ya socks and ya bunny. I can hand them in on me next visit.”

  She had followed his gaze, observed it was near the end of the visit, and summed her father up in those two hours. “Don’t worry about fetching anything. Kind of ya, but I’ve got everything I need.”

  Sucking up the disappointment, Eddie bit his tongue. He didn’t want to push her too far, not on the first visit. He needed to work on his daughter, to gain her trust again. Giving her space was probably the best option.

  “So ,where ya staying, Ed?” asked Toni.

  “Down at the holiday pad in Hythe.”

  Toni nodded. “Well, make me room up. I’ve got a parole hearing. Ya never know, I could get out on good behaviour.”

  “You? Good, ya little fucker. You’ve no chance, but I wish ya luck, sis.”

  The visit was over. He hugged his sister and then held out his arms to hug Kelly. She smirked and then put her arms around him. “Bye, dad,” she whispered, dragging out the word ‘dad’. He pulled away, feeling uneasy; her tone gave him the creeps.

  Kelly left the visit with much to ponder over. It was obvious that Toni had a close bond with her brother; she looked up to him and he had affection for her. She found it cringing that Toni, the hard woman in prison, was like an eager puppy in front of him. Her showing off was childish and yet Eddie went along with it, even though he came across as a hard-as
s charmer.

  Despite all the talking in those two hours, he had never even mentioned her court case or how he would help her get out of prison. No one had even acknowledged the fact she had murdered Toni’s husband. It was as if she was already convicted of the two murders and the sentence was a foregone conclusion. She went over every word he’d said, and not once did he ask if she killed them.

  She decided she would go along with their game, whatever it was, and find out the truth. She had her suspicions and hoped she was wise enough to be one step ahead.

  Her aunt had left earlier, still unimpressed with Kelly, which suited her just fine, of course. As Kelly reached the stairs, she noticed Ruth, hurrying back to her cell. A wave of sorrow gripped Kelly, seeing poor Ruth stuck in here and with three little children out there. She followed her, and as the cell door closed, she knocked out of politeness. Ruth didn’t ask who it was. “Come in.”

  Inside, Ruth was sitting on the bed and clutching a teddy; it was a small, worn, and scruffy toy, reflecting the appearance of this woman.

  “How ya doing, Ruth?”

  She kept her head down, staring at the toy. “Kelly, I am sorry but I can’t talk to you. I really don’t want any trouble.”

  Kelly rolled her eyes; this was ridiculous. She sat down next to Ruth and put an arm around her shoulders. “What’s up, mate?” she asked, in a sympathetic voice.

  Through gentle snivels, Ruth whispered, “Me ol’ man told me to keep away from you, ’cos I have a habit of saying the wrong thing. He reckons if I upset you, then your dad will come for him. So, it’s best I don’t have anything to do with ya.”

  Anger clouded Kelly. She didn’t want to be associated with him or any of the Raven family.

  “Ruth, listen to me. First, you couldn’t say the wrong thing to me, and second, I ain’t some nutter like Toni.”

  Ruth wiped her nose on her sleeve. “You are nice, Kelly, but your family are dangerous people. I don’t say much but I do listen. There is so much shit-stirring in here that someone else might cause trouble for me, and if it lands on Toni’s ears, then, well … blood’s thicker than water, ain’t it?”

  “Not in my case, mate,” laughed Kelly. “I never knew Toni, and my father… well, I don’t class him as my dad. I was just unlucky to be born into a family who put their reputation above everything else. When I get out of here, I won’t ever have anything to do with them. I have a family, Ruth, and they certainly don’t have my blood running through their veins.” She laughed again. “They’re black, you see.”

  Ruth looked at Kelly, bemused by her soft words and clearer diction. It was as if someone else was sitting beside her.

  “Kelly, you aren’t like them at all, are you? You are well-spoken and polite, underneath the front.”

  Kelly nodded. “Ruth, I have learned to be a chameleon, so I adjust to my surroundings. At school, I was surrounded by kids, all with that South-East London twang and the slang words, but my mother, though, would slap me if I slipped my h’s. So you could say I am a bit of a con artist, depending on my audience. Anyway, as you can see, Ruth, I am not bad. I hate bullies.”

  Ruth stopped the snivels and smiled. To Kelly’s surprise, her face changed, and she looked quite beautiful.

  “I have to ask, Kelly, but you’re only small compared to Lou O’Donnell—” Before she could finish, Kelly was laughing. “I know, you’re wondering what everyone else is. I’ll tell you but keep it a secret, eh.”

  With huge childlike eyes, Ruth smiled and nodded.

  “My mother was a control freak, so I wasn’t allowed any after-school activities. I had to be home dead on quarter past four, no excuses. I never had pocket money, only money for school dinners she gave me on a Monday morning. Anyway, there was a martial arts class just opposite the school, and they ran a session at a lunchtime, for adults, not the school kids. When I was eleven, and just starting secondary school, I got bashed up, getting off the bus. Not bad stuff, just teasing me, or so I assumed. Anyway, this man stopped the fight, picked up my bag, and walked me to the school gates. He was a huge man called Terry. He volunteered to teach me to defend myself. I told him the situation with my mum, and so he offered to teach me at lunchtimes. He was such a kind man, you know. He soon realised I was paying with my school dinner money and suggested he train me for free. He even gave me a second-hand karate gi, that’s the loose white outfit. I kept this at the centre, and before long I was working my way up to a black belt. I was his prodigy, he said. He soon had me up against the biggest men in the group, and I won more than I lost, so there you have it.”

  Ruth was sitting with her mouth wide open. “Oh, wow, perhaps I should take up something like that to stop me ol’ man from backhanding me,” she said.

  Remembering the incident in the visiting room, Kelly’s face turned serious. “He beats you, but you’re so small, and he’s massive, Ruth.”

  She nodded. “I made me bed, I have to lie in it now. Can’t do much else. I’ve got three babies with him.” She paused and gave a heavy sigh. “And the last two weren’t consensual either … not that I would change them for the world, but ... Well, anyway, I have three, and I’m stuck with him.”

  Kelly jumped up. “Right, Ruth, stand up now an’ watch my stance. Come on, copy me. I’ll teach you how to handle your ol’ man, if he tries to clump you again.”

  Ruth giggled. “What, Kelly? I can’t fight.”

  “No, but now you are going to learn. I am going to teach you, so get up.” She grabbed Ruth’s arm and pulled her to her feet. “It’s going to be our secret, right?”

  Ruth nodded with excitement. “Cor, I bet you was tough at school.” She liked Kelly, the real Kelly, with clear words and a kind heart.

  “No, I was bullied, to be honest. I knew I could fight, but I just didn’t have the confidence. It’s different in here, though. I aint got a lot of choice, have I?”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  The mood in the house was solemn. The letter arrived and Lippy read the words on the envelope. It lay on the kitchen side, awaiting the arrival of the boys. Lippy knew where it was from. The envelope had the prison stamp on it. Her heart ached for Kelly. She may have only been a part of their lives for the past two years, but it was as if she had always been there. Her fresh face and infectious giggle were the very essence as to who she really was. She had brought them joy and a sense of purity. And she had moved them all, especially Rudy; he loved her, not in a sexual way, but like a sibling. Lippy heard Rudy cry once in his office, when he thought no one was around. She covertly crept back to the kitchen and allowed him his private moment. And Ditto was turning into an angry man; it was his way of dealing with it.

  She had picked up the letter, probably ten times, eager to open it, but it was addressed to Rudy, and she would be doing wrong. Eventually, they arrived home and all were hungry. Lippy asked them to take their curry into the lounge. No one questioned her, as they sat and waited.

  She stood by the fireplace and held up the letter. She had always known Rudy couldn’t read. Rudy jumped from his seat, lively as always. “Is it from Bluey?”

  Lippy nodded. “Shall I read it, Rudy?”

  He nodded impatiently. “Yeah, go on.”

  Everyone was silent and listened, hanging on to every word. Lippy had to swallow hard to stop her voice from trembling. Ditto put his head in his hands and Rudy became tearful. Kelly’s letter was heartbreaking.

  “She ain’t gonna be alone, the soppy cow. I’m gonna visit her, make sure she’s all right. If she thinks she can get rid of us that easily, she can think again. Who does she think she is? Wait till I see her. She’s gonna get both barrels from me!” Rudy was turning his deep sorrow to annoyance, as if Kelly was in trouble. Lippy lifted her head and grinned.

  “Lippy, get a pen and paper. I am gonna write to her right now and tell her what I think,” stated Rudy, anxious to get the ball rolling.

  Lippy hurried to the office and snatched the pad and pen from the side. She sat on th
e grandad chair, her pen to the ready.

  “Dear Bluey, you stupid little girl … no forget that. Dear Bluey, don’t think you can ignore us … no, forget that. Dear Bluey …” Rudy was lost for words.

  Ditto cleared the choke in his voice. Dear Bluey, you cannot get rid of us that easily, we are family, remember. We all miss you and love you, so send a VO, or we are gonna break down the prison to get you out. Besides, business is shit without you.”

  Their sudden laughter lightened the mood.

  “Leave it to me!” volunteered Lippy. They all nodded in unison.

  It was around nine o’clock, when they were all relaxed and seated, watching a film, that Rudy’s phone rang, making them jolt out of their stoned state.

  “Yo, Keffa, how’s it hanging, mate?”

  Instantly, Rudy jumped to his feet. “What, yeah, mate, cheers.” He placed the phone back in his pocket.

  “Fuck me, Eddie Raven’s parked up the road. Keffa’s just passed him. Something’s going down. Boys, go upstairs, Lippy, you too.”

  Lippy stood with her hands on her hips. “Leave him to me, Rudy.”

  The sudden bang at the door hastened their plan. The boys ran up the stairs, and Rudy nodded for Lippy to answer it, whilst he remained in the lounge.

  As Lippy opened the door, Eddie leaned against the door frame. He looked her up and down with a menacing grin. “Where’s Rudy?” he asked in a flat tone.

  “Who wants to know?”

  Eddie burst out laughing. There, standing in the doorway was a black woman, the size of a walrus, in skin-tight shorts, with her fat thighs straining at the sides. She was wearing a vest that showed every lump and bump and her appearance was finished off with a hairnet.

  “Just get him!” He stopped laughing instantly and his face was like thunder.

  Rudy heard the way Eddie had spoken to Lippy and decided she was safer out of the way. He hurried to the door. “I’m Rudy. What can I do for ya, mate?” He tried to sound inoffensive; he didn’t want any trouble, not after everything Keffa had said about him. He was Bluey’s father all right; the resemblance was uncanny. Yet, he didn’t have her soft expression.