CRUEL SECRETS Page 28

  The door opened, and there, in a pink fluffy dressing gown, stood Ditto.

  “What the fuck, Ditz,” she unexpectedly chuckled.

  He looked down. “Ahh, yeah, it’s Lippy’s.” He didn’t care though. His hard-man charisma was for the outside.

  “I heard ya crying, Bluey. Everything okay?” He came into the room and sat beside her, placing a meaty arm around her shoulder.

  She leaned into him. “I’ve just learned from Betty some terrible news. Me mother ain’t me mother and I didn’t even get to know me real mum.”

  “Ahh, man, that shit’s fucked-up. It’s like Rudy. His dad fucked off when he was a baby, left them in the shit, and then his ma died. He was living in a car at twelve and looking out for me mum, his sister. Washing windows, sweeping lawns, and robbing shops. Yo, the bro’s brave. Look at him now. You’d never know, eh?”

  Kelly smiled. “Yeah, actually ya would. Look at us lot. We are all misfits.”

  Ditto squeezed her knee tight. “Nah, man, I ain’t no misfit … well, maybe … Yeah, I guess I am. He looked out for me and Reggie, ’cos me ma was not all the ticket. She couldn’t get over the past, took too many drugs. That’s why Rudy took us in, I guess.”

  “He is a good man. I am gonna have to get me own place. I don’t trust that Eddie, and I don’t want trouble brought to this door. Not after what Rudy and you guys have done for me.”

  Ditto gave her his raised eyebrow, he glared, and then he sucked his teeth. “Nah, man, you are part of our family. Misfits maybe, but you belong here. We will fight that Eddie together, if it comes to it, Blue.”

  He lay down on the bed and pulled her down with him. He stroked her hair gently, telling her to go back to sleep. She did, her earlier demons disappearing as quickly as they appeared. His arms cradled her and she slept like a baby.

  By the morning, she was refreshed. Ditto was still next to her on the bed, dressed in the pink fluffy dressing gown. Kelly looked at his peaceful face and a warm, heartfelt feeling engulfed her.

  “Ditz.”

  He stirred and then realised he was lying on her bed in a pink dressing gown. “Oh, shit, I crashed!”

  “It’s fine. Listen, Ditto. I have just looked out of the window and there’s a blue Merc. I’ve got a feeling someone is following me. Do me a favour, keep an eye.”

  He laughed. “I’ll do more than that. I’m gonna block them in. Me an’ Reggie can fuck them up.”

  “Good, ’cos I need to go out, and I don’t want anyone following me. I mean, I could be mistaken but best be careful.”

  After a long soak in the bath, Kelly applied her make-up, just as the beautician had instructed. She pulled on her jeans, and with her new jacket over her oyster-embroidered swing top, she was ready to go. Ditto grinned at her, as soon as she arrived in the kitchen. He had ditched the pink fluffy gown and was in his jeans and a fake designer top.

  “What ya grinning at, Ditz?”

  He slapped his knee and pointed out of the window, giggling like a child. “Reggie’s parked so close to the blue Merc, and me in front, that the guy got out to have a go. I skipped off and Reggie …” He had to stop because he was laughing too much to speak. “He pretended he couldn’t speak English. Ahh, the man thinks he can only speak French.”

  Kelly laughed. She had missed their comical antics.

  “Where’s the bloke now?”

  “Stuck in the car. He can’t move unless he hits our motors. And, well, they ain’t like his flash tool, are they,” roared Reggie, walking up behind them.

  “Who is he, Bluey?” asked Ditto.

  She shrugged her shoulders. “Dunno, maybe someone to do with Eddie. Anyway, he can’t go anywhere, so I’ll be off. See ya later.”

  “Ya got the phone I gave ya?” asked Reggie, looking out for her safety, as they had always done before. “Yeah,” she replied.

  As soon as she was gone, Ditto turned to Reggie. “If that Eddie hurts her, I’ll kill him ya know!”

  As Kelly skipped down the steps, she noticed the cracks were in need of repair, along with the rest of the house. With a surreptitious glance through her mirrored sunglasses, she saw that the man was still there in the blue Merc. She grinned to herself. Ditto and Reggie really had blocked him in.

  King’s College Hospital was a short walk from her house, so she decided to take a stroll and soak up the warm air. The main road was busy as usual with commuters. As soon as she turned off into the hospital entrance, the nerves kicked in. Her throat was dry. What if he had moved on? What if he didn’t fancy her anymore? There were too many what ifs. She paused at the canteen and thought about waiting a while to get her thoughts in order and prepare for what she was going to say. The coffee counter had a queue of around ten people – a good fifteen minutes before she would be served – so she continued past into the hub of the building. The new Jubilee Wing was a far cry from the old one. The huge glass windows gave an air of sophistication. It even smelled differently. She knew where to go; he worked on the top floor on the paediatric wing, where he had secured a permanent position. The lift filled with people and Kelly swallowed hard. Anxious times, indeed. The doors opened and half the people spilled out. Kelly spotted the patient care sign and then followed the directions to Peter’s department. It was quiet, as visiting time was later. As she pressed the buzzer, a nurse answered. She said she was there to see Peter and the door opened.

  He had not been expecting her, but in fairness, he had said she could call on him at work at any time.

  The centre desk was a hive of activity; nurses and doctors were gathered, sharing notes and doing a handover. Then she saw him, surrounded by junior doctors. For a second, she froze; maybe this was a bad idea. He looked so important and busy. He hadn’t aged at all and the vision she held on to, before she would sleep, was his face. Then, as if he sensed her there, he looked up from his paperwork and stared straight at her. It was as if he didn’t recognise her at first but then a huge smile spread across his face. He handed the notes to one of the juniors and headed her way. She wanted to put her arms out but this wasn’t the right time or place. Instantly, he grabbed her arm and took her into a side room where there was a small kitchen used by staff. He closed the door behind him and just stared, with a permanent grin on his face. Then, he cupped her face. “My gosh, Kelly, you are … I mean, you’re a …” He was staring intensely into her eyes.

  “A woman?” she replied graciously.

  He nodded. “Stunning!”

  “Peter, I came to say thank you, thank you for everything you did for me.”

  His smile faded then and he sighed heavily. “Oh, I see.”

  She grabbed his arm. “You kept me going in there.”

  He was still staring intently, wanting to kiss her lips and hold her in his arms.

  “It’s been three years, Peter. I know we wrote to each other, spoke every so often, but …”

  “I know, Kelly, you need time and space and …”

  “No! No, I thought maybe you had moved on. I mean, it was all a something and then nothing. I wasn’t sure what I really meant to you. I know I was a kid but I’m not anymore.” Her eyes were moist and she swallowed hard.

  He said no more and held her close; running his hand gently down her cheek, he grabbed her chin and kissed her with passion. As she slowly pulled away to look at his face, he had his eyes closed. When they opened, she smiled and murmured, “Oh my God, I have waited years for us to do that!”

  “Kelly, I get off soon. Please wait for me. We can go out to lunch, catch a movie, do whatever you like.” He was so excited, he was almost breathless. She nodded. “Maybe we could just go back to your place, where it’s quiet, and just talk, or …” She raised her eyebrow and gently swung her hips.

  “Wait in the coffee shop. I will be as quick as I can,” he said, as he hurried away. Kelly stood for a few seconds; her heart was bursting with excitement. He did still want her – he hadn’t moved on. She went over his expression and the way he looke
d at her. He no longer saw her as a child.

  His apartment was nearer central London. He pulled around to the front of the hospital in his Maserati convertible. Kelly looked at it with admiration. She hopped in and he tore away. The roof was folded down and her long hair blew in the wind.

  Kelly was impressed with everything about Peter: his flash car, his clothes, and now his apartment. It was sleek and sophisticated. She thought maybe it would be a tad untidy, considering he lived on his own. Her mother had always painted a dull picture of men: they were selfish, lazy, and only after one thing. So far, Peter was the opposite.

  “Let me take your jacket.” He was still beaming, excited to be in her company. Her new outfit outlined her very tidy figure. He couldn’t help but notice her breasts had ballooned and her waist was pinched in. He was attracted to her in every way.

  He was going to offer to make her a drink, but he was too captivated and wanted to kiss her again and run his hands over her sculptured body. Kelly was just as besotted with him and was drawn to his lips like a magnet. They kissed and paused. “Oh, Kelly, you are so beautiful.”

  She nudged her nose against his with her arms wrapped around his neck. “Peter, I missed you,” she whispered. Their kissing was passionate and breathtaking. He stopped to take stock, not wanting to push her too fast.

  “What’s the matter?” she asked.

  “Nothing, I am just so turned on. We have to think about this, so perhaps we should talk.”

  Kelly tilted her head. “Oh, I see.” Maybe she had misread the signs. What would she know anyway? She’d never had a boyfriend; she was still a virgin for that matter.

  “Come and sit with me in the kitchen. I’ll make us a drink.”

  Kelly followed him into the room next to the lounge. It was a spacious state-of-the-art kitchen with floor-to-ceiling windows, capturing London’s view at its best. The table in the centre had four bar stools placed around it. Everything was tidy; in fact, there wasn’t anything on show. The acrylic cabinets, with their high-gloss finish, stretched across one wall and shone like glass. She watched as he retrieved two white cups from one of the cupboards, and when he opened one of the drawers, she noticed the cutlery neatly lined up. It was a home so different from anything she was used to. Rudy’s kitchen was a mishmash of things: all different colours, shapes, and sizes, and the furniture in the lounge was much the same with nothing matching at all. And then there was her mother’s home, which she remembered as being bare and old-fashioned, with cheap laminate cupboards (the ones with long metal strips as handles) and a kettle that actually went on the stove and whistled.

  Peter poured the coffee from a fancy espresso machine and returned to the table. He was still smiling and it melted her heart. He may be older than her, but he was still the good-looking man she remembered in the hospital all those years ago.

  Then, it hit her; she felt self-conscious and it dawned on her he was out of her league. How could she fit into this, these perfect surroundings, with everything in its place? Her heart began to sink. Although he was all she wanted, she just wasn’t cut from the same cloth. The phone rang and disturbed her thoughts. “Excuse me,” he said. Even that politeness was alien to her. She listened to him speaking. “Okay, sweetheart, tomorrow’s fine, you just take it easy.”

  He turned to face Kelly. “My cleaner, she’s got the flu.”

  She tried to console herself with the fact that the flat was so clean due to hired help – not that he had an obsessive cleaning disorder. He reached across the table and stroked her hand. “I know, when we first met, you were my patient and a teenager, so my feelings were wrong, so wrong that I tried hard to reason with myself. How could I be so fond and attracted to an eighteen-year-old? But I was and I simply could not get you out of my head. And now it’s different. You are so grown up …” he laughed, “… and it’s only fair that you decide if it’s what you want. You were young and in need back then and now … well, now, you don’t need me or anyone.”

  Kelly nodded, as she sipped her coffee. “Peter, I longed for your letters. They gave me a reason to go on. I read them repeatedly. I couldn’t wait for the phone cards, just to hear your voice. Yes, I was needy, and you were there for me. I have never had a boyfriend, never even had sex. Yet, that doesn’t mean I want to go out experimenting, I am not like that …” She paused, her mind on her to-do list. “There are some things I have to deal with first. I know you said you have waited for me, and to be honest, I don’t care if you have filled your time with other women. I didn’t expect any less.”

  She watched his eyes lower and guessed he’d had a fling with someone. “Once I have sorted out my stuff, and if you are still free, then perhaps we could date, and do it the right way.”

  He nodded but felt gutted. She was beautiful and he was in love. She had got it wrong. He wasn’t interested in sex per se. It had only been a stupid, drunken one-night stand, but other than that, he was too busy working his way up the medical ladder.

  He offered to give Kelly a ride home but she declined. It wasn’t where she was living, which was the problem, but it would be too overwhelming for Peter to meet her family just now. Kelly left, after a long drawn-out kiss at the entrance to his block. “Please come back to me, Kelly.”

  Her voice trembled with emotion. “I will, I promise. I just need time to sort myself out and then we can try and make a go of it.”

  He kissed her again and watched her cross the road to hail a taxi. Further along, another taxi was idling at the kerb with a heavyset passenger; he was studying the young woman closely.

  It was by chance that Tommy had seen her. Knowing that the black youngsters had fucked him over, he had been fortunate to follow her in a taxi and sighted her jumping into the Maserati.

  When Kelly arrived home, she saw the blue Merc parked up but there was no driver. Perhaps she had been imagining the guy was some spy sent by her father.

  *

  Eddie was eagerly awaiting news from Tommy, as he was intrigued to know what Kelly would be up to. She was his daughter all right; she had an edge to her and his fascination was increasing. He had thought about Kelly, on and off over the years, but assumed she would have turned into a conceited bitch. The rumours about Maureen walking around with her nose in the air and regularly visiting the church had landed on his ears. Twelve years inside had given him time to think, and he knew he had made a big mistake with Maureen and Kelly. A four-year-old child could easily be manipulated, so, at the time, he had thought his little girl would always love him and do anything for him. His mistake was in being so narcissistic, believing he would be the one who Kelly would run to when he came home.

  “What ya thinking about, Eddie?” asked Toni.

  Annoyed she was prying into his thoughts, Eddie glared at her. “What the fuck is it with you? Ain’t you got ya own home to go to?”

  Toni felt gutted; she had only been out a year and wanted nothing more than to get in on the action with her brother, like old times. She enjoyed the wild weekends, the partying, and the ruthless means of earning money. She savoured the fact she was Eddie Cako’s sister, and if anyone so much as looked at her sideways, he would leave them with a nasty mark across their face, or, worse, paralysed from the waist down. He had her back and she had his; it had always been the case. Her two older brothers had gone their own ways, leaving just her and Eddie. She had hated him having to serve time. It made her feel lost and anything she tried on her own would usually end up a failure; it was precisely why she’d found herself in stir.

  All of a sudden, she felt afraid. Eddie had never asked her to leave before; he’d always kept her by his side.

  “What’s up, Eddie? You ain’t usually so quiet. ’Ave I pissed you off or what?”

  Instantaneously, Eddie was on his feet, throwing the tumbler of brandy across the room and watching it smash into thousands of pieces, as it hit the new high-end fireplace. The glass front was totally destroyed and the fragments embedded themselves in his real fur
rug.

  “Shut the fuck up will you! I hate fucking whining women. You’re irritating me, following me everywhere. What is it with you? Shouldn’t you be married by now, with kids of ya own? Go on, do one!”

  Toni was shocked to the core. Eddie had a foul temper and could be unpredictable but not with her, never. She guessed it was to do with Kelly, who had probably plunged into deep waters without a life jacket. “You need to give up on ya kid of yours. She’s nothing but a cocky cunt that needs a right backhander, and if I set me eyes on her, I’ll fucking floor her!” No sooner had the words left her mouth, he had his hands round her throat, throwing her to the floor. She went down with a bang, hitting her head on the marble hearth. She gasped for breath, the shock having winded her. Eddie towered over her. “You stupid fucking whore, ya cunting useless! I have had you wrapped around me ’cos you had no one else, but look at you, ya can’t get nothing right. I told you to keep Kelly sweet, to do only one fucking thing, and that was to find out what happened to the toy bunny. But you even messed that up!” He stepped back and flopped onto the sofa, taking a deep breath and sighing.

  Toni felt a huge hole, as if someone close had just died. The bruise, now swelling from her head, was nothing compared to the sadness escalating in her heart. She had to claw her way back into his affections. He was all she knew and she could not bear to be shunned by him.

  “But, Eddie, she isn’t what you think she is. Trust me, she is a bitch, she has no loyalties to you, not like me. I know you thought she would be like us, but she ain’t. You got me wrong, Eddie, I fucking tried, believe me, I tried, but …” she cried, stumbling to her feet.

  “Shut up and get out. She was a fucking kid. If you couldn’t prise one small bit of info from a fucking child, then you ain’t no fucking use to me. In fact, Toni, you are a right pain in the arse. My Kelly has more front than you, and I know if I gave her a little job to do, she would have it done.”

  Toni was angry and humiliated now, gutted he had turned on her and absolutely fuming he favoured his daughter, the no-good bitch from hell, and he was calling her ‘my Kelly’. Until now it had always been ‘my Toni’.