CRUEL SECRETS Page 31

  The driver smiled and drove smoothly away into the busy traffic, heading for Oxford Street.

  Arriving at Primark, Kelly wasted no time grabbing some large items of clothing. She filled two big bags and handed these to the shop assistant, who carried them over to the cash desk. But there was a problem. She couldn’t carry everything, and she needed the ladies’ room urgently. The middle-aged woman at the desk could see her predicament. “We don’t have customer facilities, but Robyn, here, will take you to the staff toilets, on this occasion.” It was a lifesaver. She had never envisaged, when leaving Hammonds, that £1 million in £50 notes would involve such a large case, and the problem was compounded with the extra items she had needed to purchase at this store. Robyn carried all the shopping bags to the restrooms and left her to it. Once inside the stall, Kelly got to work. She took out most of the bought items and left them in situ. No doubt, they would be of use to someone. Then, she carefully emptied all the notes from the oversized brief case, placed them in the two Primark bags, and covered them with some of the items of clothing. The expensive leather case was left in the stall; it would be a great eBay item for a cash-strapped shop assistant. She just hoped she wasn’t singled out for one of the company’s random security checks on her way out of the store. How was she going to explain all of this cash? Christ, this has been hard work, she thought.

  She struck lucky leaving the store, as no one gave her the time of day. But what she was carrying nearly sent her into a cold sweat. She had come a long way, since leaving Downview Prison.

  She hailed a London taxi cab and went straight home. The blue Merc was still there. She took her time to pay the driver and pretended to struggle with the shopping bags, as she walked up the steps to the house.

  Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Tommy was taking her picture. She smiled to herself. Eddie had evidently asked him to up his game – now he wanted photos.

  Once she was inside her bedroom, she lifted the loose floorboard, stacked the money, and covered it back over with the carpet. Sitting heavily on the bed, she gave some thought to her present situation. She could help those who had helped her.

  Then her thoughts turned to Toni and Eddie – stupid mugs. As if she wouldn’t know what was in her favourite toy. It may well have been her comforter, but, as the years crept by, the worn-out toy felt odd, as the texture had changed. She had been thirteen at the time of discovering the comforter’s contents, but it was old enough to know that the hidden gem was possibly of value and would one day see her okay.

  When she had left prison, she needed reassurance that the gem in the comforter was still there, just as she had seen it for the first time all those years ago. And it was, exactly as she remembered it. Her little find in Selfridges – the blue Swarovski crystal – turned out to be almost identical and a perfect swap. Once she had switched the gem and the crystal over, she had restitched the back and then rubbed a teabag over it, ageing the cotton, to hide the fact it had been tampered with.

  The heads-up from Rudy that Eddie had been searching around her room had been enough warning to get the gem quickly replaced with the crystal. She wondered how long it would take Eddie to realise the ‘gem’ was a fake. Then she contemplated Toni’s gain in all of this. If Tommy was right, then Toni had some kind of fixation on Eddie. Perhaps being his sister, she felt her reputation would only be enhanced. Whatever it was, Kelly hated the pair of them. When the bill of sale arrived at Eddie’s, and he saw the name on it, would he really think Toni had double-crossed him? Kelly didn’t care either way. She had the money, and they could fight it out between them.

  The smell of Lippy’s cooking made Kelly realise she was hungry. Before popping in to the kitchen, she peeped out of the window and saw the man in the blue Merc dozing with his head against the pillow.

  Lippy was stirring a huge pot with some kind of stew bubbling away. “Ahh, me Bluey chil’, dinner’s ready. The rice is in the pot there. You help yaself. I need to lie down. Me head’s hurting.”

  Kelly rubbed her back. “Are ya all right, Lippy? Do you want some tablets?”

  “Me getting old, is all it is.”

  Kelly retrieved one of the big bowls from the cabinet and smiled at the oddly assorted stack of plates. It warmed her heart. She used the oversized ladle to scoop the steaming rice into the bowl and then covered it with the mouth-watering stew. She pulled a spoon from the drawer, grabbed some kitchen roll, and headed out of the front door. Tommy was half-asleep when she tapped on the window, but he soon perked up when he noticed the piping hot offerings. He lowered the window. “Hey, Kelly, what’s this?”

  She winked. “The best food you’re ever likely to eat this side of the Thames.”

  He reached out and took the bowl. “Cor, smells good.”

  “Any news?”

  “Well, Eddie wants photos now, the sick muvver fucker.” He was relieved he could speak freely.

  “Thanks, mate, for the heads-up on Toni, the sly bitch, eh?”

  Tommy nodded. “Yeah, I won’t tell Eddie I saw her, ’cos I was too busy following you around Primark,” he laughed.

  “Yeah, that’s right. I must have spent all day shopping.”

  “No worries, Kelly. Thanks for this. I’m starving.”

  With that, she left and returned to the kitchen to fill her own ravenous belly.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Toni was on a high. Her brother would be pleased she had the bunny, she would be back on the firm, and everything would return to normal. Hopefully, he would get his daughter out of his head. There was no room for her anyway. She was the only woman they needed, not some mouthy kid. The traffic was hectic crossing London. Her new Mini, courtesy of Eddie, was nippy, but it still didn’t gain any time in the busy streets of London. She stopped at the traffic lights and gazed down at the manky old toy sitting upright on the seat next to her. The lights turned green and the car behind beeped its horn, but Toni couldn’t move, as if she had been hit with a brick. The car hooted again, forcing her to return to reality. That awful feeling of guilt grabbed her – only momentarily, but it was still a bolt out of the blue. The bunny stirred visions of the past, disturbing images she had chosen to block out for twenty-one years. She pulled over to the side of the road and rested her head on the steering wheel. Her heart was working overtime, and her blood was like a torrent of hot needles, whirling around her body. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end and she unexpectedly had the urge to vomit. She opened her car door and threw up on the road. A car full of teenagers hollered at her, “Pisshead.”

  She heaved again, and then, when the contents of her stomach were empty, she closed the door and sat shaking, trying to get her breath. Eddie’s house was at the end of the road and just visible where she had pulled over. She stared for a while, wondering what it was that made her go running whenever he called and do whatever he asked, even the unthinkable. What exactly had she missed in the years he was locked away? Was it the parties, the thrills, the violence, or being part of a gangster’s firm perhaps? Her heart was beating fast again, and a dark feeling of dread washed over her. She must have thought she was nothing without him, afraid of being left behind alone. Was that what had pushed her to do the most disgusting things he’d demanded? Every bad act was praised by him; it was a mark of honour in front of the firm. Eddie’s boasts that she was harder than any of them had spurred her on. But her flat, the car, and the clothes, all bought for her, really just meant he owned her.

  Then there was Kelly; she was sick with jealousy when Eddie had called her ‘my Kelly’. She wanted the admiration, not anyone else. She was his only family, and they stuck together through thick and thin. That’s how she had perceived it, yet maybe it wasn’t that way at all. Perhaps she had stuck to him like glue, and really, he had just used her. Even her marriage to Patrick was set up by Eddie for his own gains. As the getaway driver for all his robberies, she didn’t even get a cut; it all went to her brother, although she had been content with the p
at on the back and the glory. He had the three huge houses, the cars, the pubs, and the nightclub. What did she have? A small flat and a Mini were hardly worthwhile rewards. She looked at the grand house, which stood out from the rest in the street, and noticed his car in the drive along with his sidekicks’ motors – his heavies.

  Unexpectedly, she had an urge to drive at full speed and ram her Mini into the front of his posh pad. She cackled in a high-pitched voice – that would make a statement. Her nerves got the better of her though. She wasn’t that hard; in fact, she wasn’t strong at all. Maybe she’d been without fear in the atrocities she’d committed. But tough? Probably not. However, Kelly was, she knew that. Kelly was the one who had been through a rough time and had the scars to prove it. She was the only person who wasn’t afraid of the Ravens. She looked at the bunny again and then it dawned on her; she had been so intent on getting the damned thing, that she’d never even asked what was so special about it. But Eddie was obviously obsessed with the toy. Why? She decided to pick it up and then turn it around, but all she could see was the stained and worn fabric brought about by years of comfort.

  It was all Kelly had for contentment and now she’d ripped it from her. Her throat was so tight with grief that she felt as though she was being strangled. She wasn’t used to crying; if she was upset, she would down a bottle of brandy or smoke a joint. But she didn’t want either of those: the tears had to flow to release the pain and the pent-up guilt. After an hour or so, she stopped blubbering and tried to pull herself together. Her eyes were swollen and stinging. She lit up a cigarette and watched as the traffic was slowing down, now the evening rush hour was under way. She must have sat there for hours. After she started the car, she realised her legs were numb from not moving. The lights in Eddie’s house all popped on, presumably on a timer. She drove past his property and headed for her own. There was no point in going to him – the excitement of having the bunny in her hands had receded. The realisation of what that bunny represented had hit her hard. The only way to cope was by taking some sleeping tablets, and maybe then, she would be free of the sickening thoughts.

  But her state of mind was making her ill again: her head was hot and she felt herself beginning to vomit. She opened the door, but as hard as she heaved, nothing would come up. Those ghastly images again plagued her mind, sending her on an intense trip to when she was that impetuous, egotistic person. All those years ago, she’d never even given the evil reality a second thought. But now it was screaming in her face. If only Naomi had agreed to let Eddie adopt the baby. She’d already moved into his basement flat, one of his old dwellings, believing that he would leave his wife and play happy families with her, but she couldn’t have been more wrong. Eddie had no intention of leaving his wife and all his worldly goods behind – at least not until he could transfer everything they shared, bit by bit, into his name. Naomi saying no to Eddie was a red rag to a bull.

  The plan had been devised by Eddie and left for her to execute. Without a second thought, she had dived in, agreeing to his sick idea, with no conscience of the vile and hideous crime she was about to commit. She’d just wanted to please Eddie and be his number one. At that time, she would have done whatever it took to maintain that position.

  *

  Her mouth filled with water and her stomach ached from retching. That vision was there haunting her, taking her back to the past, to Eddie’s flat twenty-one years ago. There she was with Naomi.

  She put the overdose of sleeping tablets in the hot chocolate, while Naomi was sitting on the sofa, chatting away about the baby clothes. The kitchen was open-plan and faced the lounge. Naomi, oblivious to what was going on, couldn’t see what she was doing. Naomi drank the chocolate and within ten minutes she was unconscious. Feeling as though she was being programmed like a robot, she dragged Naomi’s heavy body to the kitchen, the floor covered in plastic sheets, and there, by gripping her smooth neck, she committed an unforgiveable sin – the strangulation of a once beautiful young woman. But, unexpectedly, Naomi’s eyes opened and she could see them fill with terror, as the unspoken words begged her to stop. But she didn’t – she needed to kill her and do so quickly. The pressure it took to squeeze the life out of Naomi left her out of breath, but she did it and felt relief as Naomi’s body went limp and her eyes rolled to the back of her head. She knew she had little time to get the baby out. With all that blood and her panicking because she didn’t have a clue what the hell she was doing, she realised time was against her. The baby needed to come out alive. The kitchen carving knife was not really sharp enough to make a clean cut, but despite this, she sliced at the flesh, sweating and shaking, to remove the newborn before it died. Layers of flesh lay open before she saw the tiny body. Without gloves, she plunged her hands into the warm, slimy, sticky flesh and eased it out. Her heart, now like a pneumatic drill, she prayed the baby wasn’t dead. Eddie would go insane, if she failed. Then, with palpable relief, she saw the little thing scream. She clamped the cord with a peg and washed her in the kitchen sink. Still on the sofa were bags of baby clothes bought for the new arrival. She held the baby now dressed in her new clothes and clutched the bunny that Naomi had bought. She couldn’t turn and face the dead woman. The sight was too gruesome, and yet she inflicted it. She killed Naomi, that pretty teenager with a sweet smile and a belly full of arms and legs.

  *

  Kelly waited for Rudy to arrive home, concerned about Lippy, who hadn’t been the same. The life looked drained from her eyes. Initially, when she’d first come out of prison, she thought that none of them had aged, but now, looking closely, she could see Lippy was tired and her face was drawn. She made a cup of camomile tea, popped two tablets on the saucer, and carefully climbed the stairs, not wanting to spill it. Lippy was lying on her back, just staring at the ceiling. Kelly nudged the door open, noticing how untidy Lippy’s bedroom was. It wasn’t like her at all. She gently placed the cup of tea on the bedside cabinet and eased herself on the bed.

  “Oh, me darling, thank you,” stuttered Lippy, through a faint whisper.

  “It’s camomile tea and I thought you might want some tablets.”

  Lippy patted Kelly’s hand. “Ahh, chil’, you is a good girl.”

  “What’s wrong, Lippy?”

  “Me just have a touch of the flu.”

  Kelly didn’t buy it at all and without another word got off the bed. A pile of washing was left in the corner of the room and dust had gathered on the sides. When Kelly looked closely at the bed sheets, she noticed they were grubby.

  “I’m gonna do some washing. I’ll chuck these in, shall I?” She held up a bundle of Lippy’s clothes.

  Lippy could hardly move; she just nodded and closed her eyes. Eager to help, Kelly went and retrieved a wash basket from the bathroom and went around Lippy’s bedroom, picking up all the clothes strewn everywhere. She then realised that the floor hadn’t been vacuumed. She ran down the stairs and sorted the washing into piles. Some of the tops had terrible stains on where Lippy had been sick. She threw them in the washer-dryer, added Dettol, and then washed her hands. This wasn’t right at all. Lippy was too proud to leave such a mess in her room. Then it dawned on her that if Lippy was too poorly to do all the housework, it would be her room she would leave until last to clean. A lump wedged in her throat. She dragged the vacuum cleaner up the stairs and into Lippy’s bedroom.

  “Lippy, are you awake? I was gonna vacuum around!” There was silence: Lippy was snoring gently. Kelly switched the machine on and waited to see if it woke Lippy up. As she got to work cleaning the floor, she took hold of a bottle that rolled from under the bed. It was a bottle of sleeping tablets. This was awful – Lippy taking tablets to sleep and her room in such a stinking mess. Within an hour, Kelly had the floors vacuumed, the flat surfaces dusted, and the windows open to remove the stale, musky smell. Lippy remained out of it. Kelly returned to their makeshift utility room just past the kitchen and emptied the first load from the washer-dryer, carefully foldi
ng the clothes and stacking them neatly, before she put the next load in. She held the warm pile close to her face and smelled the fresh scent of linen. Just as she was about to go back up to the room, Rudy appeared. He looked drained.

  “Hey, Rudy, I need to talk to you about Lippy.”

  With a sad, resigned expression on his face, he replied, “She’s not well, Bluey.”

  Kelly inclined her head. “How sick is she, Rude?”

  “Very sick. I didn’t want to tell you, not just yet.”

  The one woman she loved apart from her aunt Bet was Lippy. She felt sick and cradled the warm bundle of clothes, as if she were hugging Lippy herself.

  Rudy shook his head, his usual animated self now gone. He walked slowly to the kitchen and sat heavily with his head drooped. Kelly followed.

  “It breaks my heart, Blue, she is so ill, and there’s nothing I can do. I can’t even fucking help her to go back to Jamaica, to be with her sisters.”

  Kelly could tell he was gripped by grief.

  “Why not?”

  He took a deep breath. “Bluey, she is wanted by the police for killing her husband. She is stuck here.”

  “No way. Can’t we get her a passport, a fake one?” she urged.

  Rudy rubbed his face. “If it was that easy, I would have done it by now. It’s different these days. They are chipped and all sorts.”

  Then an idea came to her and she placed the clothes on the table. “I have to go out, Rudy. I’ll be back.”

  It was late, so she wrapped her jacket around her shoulders and skipped down the steps. Peter could help; he could have her looked at. If expensive treatment were needed, she would pay for it. She walked towards the main road to hail a taxi. Quickening her pace, thoughts of Peter flooded her mind – he was a good guy. So how would he deal with a dying woman on the run from the police? Although his brother may have got into trouble, he was a top doctor going places, not a criminal. He didn’t belong in her world.