CRUEL SECRETS Read online

  The cells were locked down early, and Lou was taken to the hospital unit, suffering from a whole range of injuries that included concussion and facial wounds. Her left ribs were cracked as was the sternum, which left her hard of breathing, and she would need rest for at least three weeks. She lay there resigned to the fact she was fairly beaten by a kid and made a decision to turn the fighting in. She had to admit to herself that Kelly had shit the wind up her. Kelly was a seriously lethal fighter; she knew that from the girl’s blank expression and effortless blows. She had never met anyone who could fight like that, with absolutely no aggression. She had scared her – perhaps she was a double murderer. Lou thought she had been lucky to escape with just a few broken bones.

  Toni lay awake, listening to Kelly purring like a kitten. How was she going to tell Eddie that taking her niece under her wing was not going to plan? She wasn’t the innocent teenager who was eager to fall into the arms of her aunt and who could be manipulated into working with the family. Eddie would throw a fit, if he knew what had gone on.

  She was beginning to despise Kelly.

  CHAPTER TEN

  As soon as lockdown was over, Kelly headed for the shower; she needed to leave the tension and avoid any more conflict with her aunt. There was a small queue but Hattie and two others stepped aside and allowed Kelly to go first. She guessed word had hit the wing and now her unwanted reputation went before her. She wanted to get away from them and so gladly jumped the queue. She was now used to having no privacy, and so she stripped off in full view, baring her naked back. She couldn’t be bothered to hide the scars. After all, they were part of her and always would be. That set the cat among the pigeons with the gossiping tongues. She grinned to herself, washing off the soap. As if they didn’t have enough to talk about, now they had Kelly’s disfigurement. Her mind returned to Rudy and Lippy and triggered a thought. Remembering the letter she’d just written to them, she went into panic mode. She didn’t want Toni or anyone else knowing about her life in Peckham. She was out of the shower quickly, without even drying herself, and then she whipped on her tracksuit, grabbed her prison issue pumps, and ran back to the cell. Unbeknown to her, though, Toni had found the letter tucked under her niece’s mattress. She had read every word and memorised the address. Just as Kelly reached the door, Toni was off her bed and about to make her way to the phone. Kelly spotted the letter, left on show. Her eyes darted from the letter and back to Toni. Kelly grabbed her arm to stop her leaving, but Toni tried to shrug her off.

  “Why are you reading me letter, Toni? I thought we were family.”

  Toni stared at Kelly, unable to find any words. Her niece just glared at her.

  “Off to the phone are ya, Tone?”

  She let go of her arm and turned her back on her. Staring down at the letter, she felt a gut-wrenching sensation. Instantly, she faced her aunt, and before Toni could get away, Kelly grabbed her by the hair, pulling her back in the cell.

  “What the fuck are you doing, Kelly? Get off me!”

  Kelly released her grip. “I swear on my life, Toni, if any harm comes to them, I will make sure your nightmares are a safe place to be.”

  Toni plonked herself on the bed. Thinking quickly, she said, “You got me all wrong, babe. I read ya letter ’cos I wanted to know you better. I wanted to understand what ya been through. I ain’t making any phone calls … what the fuck for, anyway? Kel, why do you think anyone would want to hurt them? From what I read in that letter, they were good to you.” She smiled, showing her kinder side. Kelly nodded.

  “They were good to me, Toni. They were there when no one else was.”

  Toni took that as a dig at her. “I was going to get me parcels. Apparently, you’ve got one as well.” She hoped that would steer Kelly away from the fact that Toni was about to inform her brother of this Rudy.

  “D’ya want me to fetch yours, while I’m there?”

  Kelly shot her another glare. “Nah, I’ll get me own.”

  They walked along the wing in silence. As they reached the stairs, Charlie bumped into them. She looked around to see who was about. “You’re very lucky, Toni, that Lou O’Donnell claims she fell down the stairs. A joke, really, considering she was found up the stairs. Anyway, there ain’t going to be no further investigation.” Toni stood defiantly, with her head inclined and her arms folded. Charlie’s eyes wandered down to Kelly’s hands. “How did you get those marks, Kelly?”

  Toni watched as Kelly stood unfazed, staring straight through the officer. “I punched the wall in me sleep. It’s a bad habit of mine.”

  Charlie nodded and carried on past. Toni was beginning to realise that her niece was in no way a child but smart, quick, and fucking ruthless.

  The prison issue reception was buzzing with inmates collecting their goodies. Ruth, a waifish-looking redhead, aged about twenty-five, was in front. Kelly knew her from the wing; she was the orderly who mopped the floors every five minutes. She never smiled and always looked so sad. Her hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail and her clothes hung off her. Kirsty was on the desk, with her smug pig face, handing over the items in a clear plastic bag. She handed Ruth a small bag, and Kelly couldn’t help but notice the threadbare clothes inside. Ruth put her head down and scurried away like a church mouse, trying not to be noticed.

  Toni snatched her bag from Kirsty and walked away, not waiting for Kelly; it didn’t go unnoticed. Then Kelly watched as Kirsty bent down and struggled to lift the next parcel. She heaved it up and over the desk and allowed it to drop on the floor. “’Ere, Raven, sign.”

  Kelly scribbled her name and grabbed the bag by the cable ties. Christ, it’s heavy, she thought. But, for the first time, she felt excited.

  Toni wasn’t in the cell when Kelly opened the door, so she was pleased she could experience the pleasure of opening her gifts without having her aunt there to spoil the mood. She tore away the plastic and carefully pulled out the items. There was no note from the sender, and she had no idea who would have sent her such beautiful clothes. There were designer T-shirts, jeans, jumpers, nightclothes, and trainers, and all her size too. Quickly, she stepped out of her prison tracksuit and pulled on the red T-shirt and dark-blue fitted jeans. The trainers felt like heaven, after wearing the prison pumps. The nightclothes were also tasteful. They could not have been from Rudy. He wouldn’t have a clue about what she liked; it would have been fuck-off, in-your-face stuff with big logos, advertising Chanel or Louis Vuitton. No, whoever sent them must have known her taste and that she was still on remand. Interesting.

  When Toni returned, she looked more at ease and smiled. “They look lovely on ya, Kel. Someone spoilt ya. Who sent them in?”

  Kelly shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know.”

  Toni laughed. “I bet it was ya dad. Talking of him, are ya ready for this afternoon?”

  The question couldn’t have been worse timed. It was as if she was wearing a dead man’s suit; she had an overwhelming urge to peel the clothes off. The excitement of the unknown sender was ruined by the thought it could have been Eddie.

  “What’s happening this afternoon?”

  Hugely excited, Toni clapped her hands together. “Me and you, kiddo, have a double visit with ya dad.”

  “You what? I never sent a VO out,” she bridled, her face changing from a look of apprehension to one of deep resentment.

  “No, ya don’t have to send a VO because you’re on remand. He can see you whenever. Anyway, the double visit’s booked, so ain’t ya excited ya can meet him? He is,” declared Toni, rubbing her hands together.

  The thought of meeting Eddie wasn’t a pleasurable one; she had formed her own ideas about him and wasn’t about to share them with Toni. Yet, she did want to know what his agenda was because she didn’t buy into his loving reunion story.

  They were called for lunch in the canteen. As usual, Toni headed to the front of the queue, whilst Kelly stayed at the back, behind Ruth. But Treacle, the fiery scag head, could see the line was building
up behind Kelly, so she skipped past Ruth and pushed her way in. Being a member of Toni’s firm gave her carte blanche to lord it over the other inmates, as she was immune to any comeback. Ruth, with her head down, did nothing. What? Kelly’s heart rate zipped up a few notches, seeing this piss-taker trying it on. Stepping in front of Ruth, who assumed Kelly was doing the same as her aunt and Treacle, Kelly tapped this hanger-on on the shoulder. She turned around to face Kelly with a big smile on her face, “Oh, all right, Kel?”

  “You’ve pushed in!” complained Kelly, coldly.

  Treacle was fidgeting as always. “Ah, sorry, Kel, go on, you can go in front of me,” she replied.

  “Err, nah, you should have joined the queue like everyone else.” Kelly’s voice wasn’t loud but was still heard by the inmates further up the line. Toni took a step away from the queue and glared at Kelly. Treacle looked at Toni, waiting for an order, but she was miffed when Toni looked away, not wanting to get involved.

  “What’s up, Kel, have I upset ya, or what?”

  With a glare that could kill, Kelly retorted, “Yeah, ya have, as a matter of fact. Ya pushed ya way in. I don’t like bullies.”

  Everyone stopped and listened, as they waited for Toni to say something, but she didn’t; Toni just carried on piling on her plate the better helpings, leaving the less savoury portions for the end of the line.

  Treacle put her head down and walked dejectedly away, back to her cell. Kelly then retraced her steps behind Ruth. There were mumblings, as the inmates viewed the whole situation as a stance over pecking order.

  Then, unexpectedly, Kelly took her tray and sat next to Ruth, who was too shit-scared to say a word.

  “So, Ruth, after visiting, fancy a game of snooker?”

  Too afraid to speak or look up, she kept her head down and whispered urgently, “What are you doing, Kelly? I don’t want any trouble.”

  Kelly sighed. “Look, Ruth, I don’t either. I just want to play snooker and not have to listen to their bullshit.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. I think I wanna keep meself to meself. Please don’t take offence. I am just … well, I don’t want any agg.”

  The quiet, fearful voice resonated with Kelly and she hated Toni’s brutes – her so-called firm.

  After Kelly had swallowed the last of her orange squash, she stood up and left; she didn’t wait for Toni or even acknowledge her. Toni was seething. Kelly was playing a dangerous game, and sooner or later, she would put Kelly in her place. But unbeknown to her, her niece was being regarded as the woman you just don’t mess with. Lou O’Donnell had sorted out Toni good and proper: the once scary bitch had never lost a fight. She used to run the prison, and so when Toni had tried to take that away from her, she’d retaliated, leaving marks to warn others not to mess with her. Now, years later, Kelly was the one who had battered Lou, and so the dynamics had changed somewhat – it was Kelly who had the rep now.

  Reluctantly, Kelly got herself ready for the visit. She had to wear the armband depicting her as a prisoner. It was a harsh reminder all right. She continued hoping Sophie was her way out and she was going to fight for her freedom. This hellhole was turning her into someone she wasn’t meant to be.

  Toni returned and slammed the door behind her.

  “I am fucking warning you, little girl,” she spat.

  Kelly was on her feet, ready to take her aunt on, if necessary. She had learnt now that prison was not too dissimilar to a jungle: always be alert to danger.

  “You are playing a very fucking dangerous game; maybe you are too young to grasp it now, but let me tell ya. You ’ave it easy, ’cos ya me niece. If ya try to go against me in front of the others, then there’s gonna be a fucking change between us, and trust me, Kelly, there will be trouble like you won’t believe. These scummy inmates will be choosing whose side to take. They will use every trick in the book to turn you and me against each other.”

  Kelly grinned. “And that really fucking worries you, don’t it, Toni!”

  “Jesus, Kelly, if you weren’t me niece I’d ’ave ripped your ’ead off ya shoulders and shit down ya fucking neck by now. You really don’t get it, do ya? Well, let me explain something to ya. ’Aving a fight ain’t all ya need, to keep ya on top in ’ere. You don’t think they kiss me feet just ’cos I can wipe the floor with ’alf of them, do ya? I run this wing ’cos they need their little bit of gear, tobacco, puff, whatever, and, Kelly, I have the means to it all, and you don’t. Now, do you get me?”

  Kelly was sick of her aunt’s hard and domineering attitude as if she ruled the world. “Yeah, Tone, I get ya, but I don’t want to run fuck all. I am me own person, not part of any gang. I hate fucking tormentors and I don’t owe you anything. In fact, Toni, your past antics nearly got me a good hiding off Lou, if I’m not mistaken. I ain’t over that yet. I’m not like you—”

  “Don’t I fucking know it!” Toni said quickly, interrupting Kelly.

  “And, Toni, I don’t want to be like you. The others may look up to ya, but I don’t, and if that pisses you off, well, tough.”

  “Okay, I get it, Kel, ya wanna be a rebel. You had it a bit difficult growing up and now ya wanna hate everyone. But you ain’t gotta hate me. I’m on your side.”

  Kelly folded her nightclothes and placed them at the end of the bed; she didn’t say another word. There was no point: Toni was never going to understand, and she was too tired to argue. Besides, right now, she needed to mentally prepare for meeting Eddie Raven – her so-called father.

  *

  Eddie Raven waited in the main reception, before he was allowed to enter the visiting room. A few of the visitors recognised him and nodded out of respect. He didn’t sit down like the others. Dressed in his jeans, red pullover, and designer jacket, and leaning against the wall, he stood out like a sore thumb. It wasn’t what he wore, which captured the attention of other people, but his whole comportment. Of course, he was a good-looking man, with a seriously mysterious expression and eyes holding many secrets. Women were drawn to him and he knew it. He had learned to use all he had to get what he wanted, including fulfilling his sexual appetite. With one wink, he would have a woman eating out of his hands or sucking on his dick, preferably the latter.

  The surnames were called in alphabetical order. The visitors stood up, grabbed their kids, and hurried into the visiting room. Eddie watched as the holding room dwindled down to just him. “Raven!”

  Eddie pushed himself away from the wall, nodded at the screw, and swaggered past. Kirsty raised her eyebrow. He was cocky, like his sister; she could have picked him out right away, with his olive skin, those striking green eyes, and chiselled features.

  The visiting room was a hive of activity, with families eager to get seated, ready to face their loved ones. The queue at the tuck shop was increasing. He would have bought a few goodies but didn’t as queuing wasn’t in his DNA. Instead, he settled himself on the yellow plastic chair and watched the end door from where the prisoners appeared. Unexpectedly, a little girl, no older than three, skipped over to him, placed her chocolate covered fingers on the table, and stood smiling. He returned her smile and watched her huge round brown eyes light up. She was like a dolly. Kelly was not much older, when he had said goodbye; he wondered what she looked like now.

  “Come here, Rosie. Ahh sorry, Eddie, she’s a nosy little madam,” said the huge meathead, in a low, gravel voice.

  “All right, Connor?” nodded Eddie.

  “Yeah, mate, not bad, me missus is in ’ere. She got caught shoplifting again, and the filth also found some drugs on her. A double whammy, eh.” He rolled his eyes and bent down to pick up his daughter.

  Eddie nodded again and the man walked away feeling awkward; that was the last thing he needed – to have his kid cover Eddie Cako Raven in a Cadbury Creme Egg. He shuddered at the thought.

  Finally, the door opened and there, at the front of the queue, stood Toni, closely followed by Kelly. He knew straightaway she was a Raven. As they walked towards him
, he felt odd; should he greet her with open arms or remain seated? Toni was beaming and had her arms outstretched. That was how it had been for a few years, her visiting him and now him reciprocating.

  He got up and hugged her.

  She seemed excited to introduce his daughter. “’Ere she is, Eddie.” She turned to face Kelly. “Your fucking double, ain’t she?”

  Eddie and Kelly were both eyeing each other over. He hoped for a smile at least, but he sensed she wasn’t about to fall into his arms and cry with happiness. His heart was beating fast and he felt something, although for the life of him, he wasn’t sure what it was.

  “So, Kel, ya gonna give ya ol’ man a hug?”

  Something stirred inside her, yet it wasn’t overwhelming love, that was for sure. She saw how confident he was and how young he appeared. It had been too long ago for her to have any recollection of what he looked like, but Toni’s description fitted him perfectly: he was your typical East End bruiser, being handsome, flash, and, yes, arrogant!

  She remained stone-faced but walked towards his open arms. As he pulled her close, she vaguely recalled a time long ago when her dad was in her life – that same expensive aftershave and the feel of his cheek against hers. It was a warm sensation. She was four then and of course she had loved him. Who wouldn’t? He was kind and gentle with her. Flashbacks were returning now, with her giggling and him chasing her and tickling her in their lounge. Why had things turned out so wrong?

  “Look at you!” He held her away, still clutching her arms. “You are a looker, that’s for sure.”

  They sat down opposite to each other, Kelly aware of his fixed grin. Obviously, his desire to meet his daughter was greater than hers. Well, that wouldn’t be difficult, she thought.

  It was embarrassing, listening to Toni tripping over herself to impress him with all her hard-girl misdoings whilst massaging her own ego at the same time. Kelly observed Eddie’s face convey pride and pleasure.